Evie makes 3

Evie's 11 months!

2010-10-11T08:10:00.000-05:00

Where does the time go? Seriously.

I cannot believe that, in less than a month, my baby girl will be 1 year old! ::bawls like a baby::

It seriously feels like yesterday was my due date, I was standing in the bathroom, drying my hair, getting ready to go over to Brian's parents' house to watch the Steelers game, and my water broke. I looked at him and said, "Uh...I think my water just broke." He said, "Are you serious?" 16 hours later, she was here, and I cannot imagine my life without her.

I took her to get her 1 year portraits done last week. Here are my favorite pics...

Welcome

2010-08-01T14:21:00.000-05:00

Here are some pics of the house!

As you can see, it's really sunny today and I was talking the pics with my iPhone, so they're not the best. Also, I haven't put a lot of decorations on the wall yet because there's still some painting that needs to be done.

Foyer

Dining Room

Living Room

Kitchen

Office

Guest Bathroom/Evie's Bathroom

Evie's Room

Master Bedroom

Master Bath

Walk-In Closet (pre-moving day, obviously)

Laundry room

Basement (couch has been swapped out since this pic was taken)

Guest Room (there's a bed in there now, but the room wasn't clean enough to take pics lol)

Backyard

Dropping Like Flys

2010-07-09T09:43:00.000-05:00

So I've lost 3 followers in the past few days.

I'm going to take a guess and say it's because I'm not updating very often.

We've been so busy with the move, working, taking care of a baby. I just haven't had time to update.

Can you ever forgive me?

Update on Evie: She's crawling now and it looks like she'll be pulling up any day now! I'm so excited and sad at the same time. It's only been 8 months! How can she be crawling??

She's also said the precious word I've longed to hear, "Ma ma." Of course she doesn't know what it means, but it's still ~~a victory over "da da"~~ adorable!

Update on me and Brian: Things are going well. We're going to counseling, but haven't been in a few weeks due to cancellations by the counselor and us for the last 2 appointments. We'll be back in that office on Tuesday though.

We're working on our communication, and of course, he's working on his stress management skills and learning to control his anxiety.

I'm happy to say, things are looking up. We're nowhere near fixed or cured, and I'm not expecting to ever be perfect, but we're headed in the right direction.

I think I'm going to take a cue from Blair and try the Dirty Day Shred, so I'm sure you all will be anticipating that with great eagerness.

I'll be posting pictures of the house soon too! We're going to be doing a little painting, so I'll post before and after pics.

We're Moving!

2010-06-03T10:03:00.001-05:00

I know I haven't updated in awhile. Life has been crazy!

Things with Brian are slowly, but surely, getting better. We're going to counseling once a week and we're both really trying to make an effort to communicate better. We've come to the realization that communication, and anxiety, are our biggest issues. Brian and I are both strong-willed, hard-headed people. When you get 2 people like that together...my lord, is it a recipe for disaster! Luckily, we realize that we do love each other and we're willing to do what it takes to make this relationship work. I'm praying that we can get over this hurdle.

Things with Evie are better than ever! She's the happiest little baby in the world! No, seriously. I've never seen a happier baby than my baby. Maybe I'm biased (ya think?), but that girl is all smiles all the time and it melts my little heart.

I'm sure you're wondering what the title of this post means. Well...it's pretty literal. We're moving into a house. Insert a "Woo hoo!" here. We're packed to the gills in our townhouse and I'm so tired of having to try and conceal swings, exesaucers, car seats, and much, much more when company comes over. In our new house we'll have, drum roll please, AN ENTIRE ROOM dedicated to the Evie Monster's toys! I cannot wait!

Here's a pic of the house...

Our friends who live in Hawaii, that we visited a few months ago, are renting us the house. The husband was offered a permanent position to stay in Hawaii, and he happily excepted (bastards!) and they immediately thought of us to rent their house. I'm beyond excited! It's a 4 bedroom, 3 bath home, and I cannot wait to acquire every inch of that space.

Now we just have to get our townhouse rented out. Wish me luck!

6 months

2010-05-10T22:13:00.000-05:00

It's been 6 months since my little girl made her way into this world. The day that changed my life forever. I never knew how much I could love one tiny little person. A love so strong that, in my the midst of my crumbling world, it's all I need to know in my heart that I will always be ok. I will always be strong for my baby.

This 6 month old has taught me so much about myself in such a short amount of time. I can't wait to see what I learn in the next 5 years. 10 years. 20 years. If 20 years goes by as quickly as the last 6 months...well let's just say, I'm in no rush to get to 42!

Here are the rest of her 6 month portraits. As promised.

I know that's a lot of pics, but I had to AW my little cutie!

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T17:07:00.001-05:00

It's so crazy to think that this is my first Mother's Day and Evie will be 6 months old tomorrow!

Brian and I aren't doing very well, but seeing that little girl's face let's me know that everything will work out whether we're together or not.

Brian's mom and I took Evie to get her 6 month portraits done. I'll post them all tomorrow, but here's a little preview...

Strolling down memory lane.

2010-04-27T22:45:00.001-05:00

Wanna see what I looked like as a kid?

Life...is hard.

2010-04-16T08:28:00.000-05:00

I know I've been MIA for the past week or so, and it makes me sad. I miss my fellow ~~internet addicts~~ mommy bloggers, my tweeps, and my bumpies, but my life isn't going too well right now. Scratch that. My relationship isn't going too well right now.

I'm so mentally exhausted and emotionally drained. I'm just going through the motions of daily life, with the occasional fake smile plastered across my face. Every time I laugh, I feel a twinge of sadness and think, "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? Your life is falling apart in front of your eyes, and you're laughing?"

Half of me wants to try to work it out, while the other half screams, "Run!" Which half do I listen to?

We're starting couples counseling on Tuesday. Wish me luck...

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T18:29:00.000-05:00

Wishing you all a happy Easter Sunday!

Hi, I'm Jocelyn, and I'm a terrible housewife

2010-03-29T08:28:00.000-05:00

When I was in high school, I used to watch Sex and the City and fantasize about how, some day, I would be just like Charlotte York. She was perfect in every way. Beautiful, successful, rich, but more than anything, she was the perfect housewife.

I used to imagine my life when I was married with kids. I would be JUST like that. Perfectly put together, pearls and all, keeping an immaculate house, dinner on the table when my husband got home, all while raising babies. Yes, for a woman my age, this is a very old fashioned way of thinking, but it's what I wanted.

Today, I'm a 22 year old stay-at-home mom, and if you came over to my house right now, right this very second, you would probably be appalled by what you would see. My coffee table has 3 glasses and 2 baby bottles on it, my foyer table has a screwdriver sitting on top (because we have to change the damn swing batteries every day), my giant sectional sofa is covered by 2, equally giant, comforters (because we have to sleep downstairs most nights because the babe doesn't sleep the whole night in her crib). What else? Oh, let's see, the kitchen is a mess. Dishwasher full, causing dishes to pile up in the sink, floors desperately need to be swept. And don't even get me started on the upstairs. Our bedroom is a disaster area. When I look at it, I want to cry.

And you know what the problem is? I blame Brian because I really do try to keep this place clean, but he does nothing to help me keep it clean. I cleaned the entire downstairs on Saturday. Complete with vacuuming, which doesn't happen as often as it should in this house, but it didn't matter. Come Monday, it's a complete and utter mess, like it is every Monday. But the real problem, the reason why this place is never clean for very long, is me.

It's my fault that Evie doesn't sleep in her crib, causing me to not be able to make a noise when she's napping, in the living room, in her swing. When she is awake, she has to constantly be held or paid attention to. She's not content with just playing by herself and watching me clean. When I do, FINALLY, get her to sleep, I can't so much as get a glass of water for fear that the ice clinking in my glass will wake her. As I sit here typing this, I'm trying not to tap the keys too loud, because when I do, she stirs.

So I sit here. I sit here, on the computer, just waiting for her to wake up so we can start the cycle all over again. And just thinking about it, makes me want to breakdown into tears. This is not the kind of housewife I pictured myself being. I want a clean house, I want to cook, I want a baby who sleeps in her own crib, giving Mommy and Daddy their, much needed, alone time in the evenings.

What can I do though? I can't make her become a more independent baby. I can't force her to sleep in her crib all night. And if I can't handle doing household chores with one baby, how the hell am I supposed to do it with 2? Or 3? Or 4? I shudder at the thought of it.

For now, all I can do is try my best. I try not to think about the characters I idolized on TV. Because the fact is, it IS just a tv show. The Charlotte Yorks and Bree Vandekamps are just fictional characters. At least that's what I tell myself, but a little piece of me knows...women like that are out there, being great housewives, and that's the little piece that makes me feel like a failure as a wife and mother.

Giveaway: Blog Design

2010-03-21T18:27:00.001-05:00

And the winner is...

Congrats, Jess! You're the winner! The next step is to go to my website and follow the Design Process steps. :)

To those who entered, but didn't win, I'm thinking about doing this as a monthly giveaway, so be sure to check back!

**********************************************************************

In honor of starting my new blog designing business, Blogs by Jocelyn, I've decided to giveaway a free custom blog design.

You can click here to check out the kits that will be available to pick from if you win the design.

How to enter:

**You must be a follower of my blog to enter this giveaway**

**Make sure you leave a separate comment for each entry**

1. Vote for my personal blog on Top Mommy Blogs by clicking here.

2. Vote for my design business blog on Top Mommy Blogs by clicking here.

3. Follow me on Twitter.

4. Add my blog button to your blog.

5. Blog about this giveaway and copy/paste the link in your entry.

You have until 9:00 am on Tuesday to enter. On Tuesday, I will use Random.org to pick a winner. Good luck! :)

New Business

2010-03-20T13:20:00.000-05:00

I took a giant leap today and launched my blog designing website.

I'm very excited to be starting this business. I've done some designs for friends and I finally mustered up the courage to start my own business.

I have an ad going up over at The Heir to Blair starting next month, and I'm hoping that will help get my business started!

Click the badge to check it out the new site! :)

Flippin' Sweet!

2010-03-15T09:14:00.002-05:00

So um...I lost 5 lbs. last week!

I have no idea how, but to say I'm excited just wouldn't cut it. I'm THRILLED! I'm getting closer and closer to my goal weight. Only 6 more lbs. to go!

I know I can do this. My fear is that I'll gain it all back once I stop breastfeeding. Brian and I are starting our "Hardcore Life-Style Change" today. I don't want to call it a diet, because that's not what it is. Yes, he needs to lose weight. And yes, I still have a few more lbs. to go. We're not as much concerned with losing weight as we are being healthy for our daughter and each other. I don't want my unhealthy eating habits passed on to Evie, so we need to nip it in the bud now.

So 6 more lbs. to go. I'm going to say I can do it in 3 weeks. Brian and I are going to start taking nightly walks with the babe, now that it's spring and we had day light savings. I can't wait to reach my goal weight and see Brian start losing some weight!

Current Stats and Goals:

Current weight: 151

Goal weight: 145

Goal weight loss for the week: 2 lbs.

Other goals: It was too raining to walk last week, so I want to walk at least 3 nights this week

4 months

2010-03-10T23:41:00.000-06:00

It's been 4 months since Evie was born. I cannot believe how fast time is flying by. She turns into a big girl a little more every day. She is sleeping in her crib now (Thank the lord!), but only until about 2 am and then she wants Mommy. I don't mind. I love snuggling with my Evie Monster. :)

Thumbs up for being 4 months old!

McFatty Monday- Vacation Edition

2010-03-08T11:55:00.000-06:00

Kauai was A-mazing! We had such an incredible time! We were so sad to leave, but so ready to get back to our baby girl.

Anyway, not the point of this McFatty Monday post.

The point of this post is to be a complete attention whore and tell you that...I ONLY GAINED 1 POUND ON VACATION! Yes, ladies, I am screaming that from the rooftops! Every time I ate something fattening in Hawaii, which was pretty much every meal, I kept thinking about how my McFatty Monday post would go when I got back.

I was so sure I gained at least 5 lbs., but nope. I got on the scale this morning and read those 3 beautiful numbers. 1-5-6. I was shocked! I'm so happy I was able to keep the weight off.

As fun as eating everything I wanted was, it's back to the diet today for me and Brian. The weather has taken a turn for the better, so we'll be doing nightly walks with Evie in tow. Which I'm thrilled about! I love taking walks in spring weather!

How did everyone do during the 2 weeks I was gone? Did you lose any? Gain any?

Current Stats and Goals:
Current weight: 156
Goal weight: 145
Goal weight loss for the week: 2 lbs.
Other goals this week: Walk at least 3 nights this week

Just a few pics...

2010-03-03T20:22:00.002-06:00

Here are some pics from the vacay so far...
Wailua Falls

Kilauea Point

Queens Bath

Hanalei Valley

Our first beach trip. The waves were WAY too strong to swim.

The Marriott golf course

Dinner at Plantation Gardens

Spouting Horn

The tree tunnel

Our view from our room

The Marriott pool

Hot tubs!

The view from Spouting Horn

We're having a blast, but we miss Evie a lot! :(

I'll post more pics when we get back!

Goodbye, dear friends.

2010-02-26T21:00:00.000-06:00

See you in 8 days! :)

Down another pound!

2010-02-22T09:42:00.001-06:00

Well...it wasn't the 3 lbs. I was hoping for, but I'm surprised I actually lost a pound considering I drank on Saturday night.

Brian and I had a rough week, so we left the babe with my mother, stopped off to watch Brian's brother play guitar in a band, then we were off to drown our sorrows with adult beverages at a local bar. Me with Stella Artois (the best beer ever, if you didn't know) on tap and Brian with dirty martinis and corona. We did a shot to really make us feel good. For anyone that knows about the calorie content in alcohol, especially beer, you'll know that this is not a good beverage choice if you want to lose weight.

So I was pleasantly surprised when I stepped on the scale this morning, only to find out that I lost a pound! ::dances around the room to I'm So Excited::

I think I can lose another 2 lbs. before we leave on vacation. I'm sure as hell going to try!

Current goals and stats:
Current weight: 155
Goal weight: 145
Goal weight loss for the week: 2 lbs.
Other goals: Try not to put too much on while we're on our trip. I think I'll probably gain 5 lbs. back though

Check out the other McFatty Monday posts at Heir to Blair.

PS: This will be my last McFatty Monday post until March 7th. Good luck to everyone is the next 2 weeks! :)

I've got 2 tickets to paradise!

2010-02-21T13:29:00.000-06:00

Ah, this time next week, I'll be laying on this beach, watching this sunset!

I am getting so excited to go to Kauai! We seriously lucked out on this trip.

Our friends live there, so we have a place to stay, and my and Brian's parents gave us the miles for the tickets! We're so blessed to have such amazing friends and family.

We're going to miss Evie SO much, but we seriously need this vacation. From the day we found out I was pregnant, it's been non-stop chaos. We moved, Brian started a new job, we got ready for the baby. Then she came, we were in the hospital for 4 days, we came home terrified of this little infant, that was now solely in our care. How can a tiny, 6 pound baby, make you so afraid? Oh, I know. It's because you have know freaking clue what the hell you're doing! From then on, it's been a whirlwind of awesomeness and exhaustion.

I can't wait to just relax on the beach and drink Mai Tais with Brian. I've also been promised a romantic night at the Marriott resort and a massage on a beachfront patio. Oh my Lord...I'm so pumped!

By the way, how sad is it that I have no idea what I'll do without The Bump for a whole week? Gah, I need a life!

You are beautiful, no matter what they say

2010-02-18T09:46:00.001-06:00

Christina Aguilera used to be my jam back in the days of junior high, but as interesting as Christina is (NOT!), she is not the topic for today's post.

Nope. Today, beautiul bloggers are the topic.

Metta, over at 365 days: 30+ Mommyhood, nominated me for a Beautiful Blogger award! Thanks, Metta!So here's how it works...

Here are the rules for the award:

~Thank the person who nominated you and link to their blog.

~Copy the award and paste it to your blog.

~Tell us 7 interesting facts about yourself.

~Nominate 7 bloggers that you love and link to their blog.

Seven Facts:

1. I can tie my hair in a knot with one hand. That's talent, no?

2. I lived in 3 different states, but went to 7 different schools. 5 of those schools were in the same town!

3. I've never been out of the country. Unless you count the day I sailed from the U.S. Virgin Islands to the British Virgin Islands. I didn't need a passport though, so it doesn't count.

4. I was born in New Orleans.

5. I've read the entire Twilight series, because I'm a total dweeb and swooned over Edward Cullen like every other 14 year old girl.

6. I lived above a bar, in downtown KC, for 6 months. I met my fiance at said bar.

7. I have a mild obsession with owls and will buy anything for DD that has one on it.

My seven nominations:
The818
Raising Madison
Changing the Universe
Ro is Me
I Play It By Year
Life With Leighton
Tie A Little Ribbon

Damn you, LOST!

2010-02-17T13:48:00.000-06:00

You said you were going to start answering our questions, but you keep creating more! Now, I'm more confused than ever. Double U Tee Eff, LOST?

Last week, they showed Claire, all Rambo-like, out in the Jungle. This week, they didn't even mention it. Instead, they showed John in the alternate reality. He's still in a wheelchair, still with Helen, and apparently, he's close with his father. On top of all that craziness, Hurley owns several compaines, Rose works for one of them, and Ben is a teacher.

I just want to know one thing, how did detonating the hydrogen bomb change everything that much? Ben was on that island when he was a kid. He was shot and taken to the temple to be healed. What happened between that and him becoming a teacher at some school?

Dear J.J. Abrams,

You need to start answering some damn questions and stop creating more! There's only like 10 episodes left, so get to it, ok? Kthnxbye.

Sincerely,
A loyal, confused as hell viewer

Under the Sea

2010-02-16T14:01:00.000-06:00

Ok, ladies. I need your help picking a swim suit for vacation.

I've got a hot pink one-piece already, but I was seriously considering being daring and wearing a two-piece. I'm not so much worried about my tummy as I am my butt and hips, so I thought a skirted bottom might be the solution.

Which suit should I get?

Success, finally!!

2010-02-15T09:59:00.001-06:00

After weeks of hitting a plateau, I was hesitant to get on that scale again today. I didn't want to have to write another post about how I failed, AGAIN, this week. I mean, c'mon, what would be the point of even making the effort to write about it?

Imagine my surprise when the scale read 156, not 158. I lost 2 lbs! That brings me to a total of 35 lbs. lost since having the baby. And since I only gained 20, do you know what that means? It means I've lost 15 extra pounds that I had before I was pregnant! Eeeeeeeeeeek!

I think I can lose another 2 before we leave for vacation. I'm going to try my hardest! I'm actually thinking about doing the Special K diet for the next 2 weeks. Basically, you replace 2 of your meals with one of their products. Cereal, granola bars, protein drinks, etc. Since I don't eat much for breakfast or lunch, I figure replacing those two meals should be easy. I hope!

Current stats and goals for this week
Current weight: 156
Goal weight: 145
Goal weight loss for the week: 3 lbs. That's right, I'm going to try 3, instead of 2!
Other goals: Start, and stick to, Special K diet

//**EDIT**\\

Blair's McFatty Monday post inspired me to post progress pictures as well. So here they are. My fat ass and stretchies in all their glory...

5 days post-partum, not sure how much weight was lost at this point

13 weeks post-partum and 35 lbs. down

Notice the love handles. And the thighs...well, they still need some work, but I feel good about my progress!

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T12:49:00.001-06:00

My shopping excursion in pictures

2010-02-11T23:35:00.002-06:00

I went shopping today for myself and Evie. Mostly for Evie. Here's what I came home with...

Oh, LOST, you're so crazy!

2010-02-10T08:32:00.000-06:00

::Spoilers::

Well it looks like we're going to FINALLY find out where Claire has been all this time.

She looks like she's the new Rousseau. Making traps, shooting Others. You know, the usual things you do when you're stranded out in the jungle.

I think we're going to finally start getting some answers next week. I flipping hope so, because I'm more confused than ever!

Questions from this week:

What's up with Sayid and this "infection"? The asian guy said it happened to Claire too.

What has Claire been doing out in the jungle for 3 years?

What's going on with the rest of the Ajira flight?

Big question: What the hell is going on with these alternate realities???

Thoughts?

No. change. what. so. ever

2010-02-08T09:40:00.000-06:00

Gah!

I'm stuck at 158.

Why can't I lose anymore weight? Oh, that's right, because I freaking cheat on my diet ALL THE TIME. It's like, the weekend comes, and it's "Hello, chocolate chip cookies." WTF?

Why can't I stick to my diet? It doesn't help that I have Brian home with me on the weekends, tempting me to cheat.

Brian, by the way, is nowhere near losing that 20 lbs. and we leave for Hawaii in 19 days. Victory is sweet! Well, not really. I was really hoping the bet would motivate him, but alas, it did not.

So yeah, stuck at 158. I am determined to lose at least 1 effing pound this week. I can drop 1 measley pound, can't I? We shall see.

Current stats and goals
Current weight: 158
Goal weight: 145
Goal weight loss for the week: 1 lb.
Other goals: Exercise, at least, 2 days this week. I count dancing with Evie in the Moby exercising.

New Look

2010-02-06T15:57:00.000-06:00

What do you guys think?

Bailey, from b's {blog} boutique, did an amazing job on the new blog look!

She was awesome about really including you in the design process and she was very quick too. I'd definitely recommend her if you're looking to re-design your blog!

Snowed In

2010-02-05T14:26:00.001-06:00

We will officially be snowed in by this evening, and we're supposed to get even worse storm on Sunday, so Evie and I made a mad dash to the store to get the essentials. You know, milk, bread, Ready-Bake cookies.

It wasn't too bad when we left for the store. We had maybe 1/2 an inch on the ground. We got in, got out, and by the time I unloaded the groceries, this is what our backyard looked like...

Looks like a weekend chocked full of junk food and movies. This should make for an interesting McFatty Monday post.

Changes, they are a comin'

2010-02-04T13:27:00.001-06:00

Bailey, over at b's {blog} boutique, is designing a new look for the blog! She recently remodeled Metta's blog, over at 365 days: 30+ Mommyhood, and she did a fantastic job!

Here's a little preview of the design kit I picked, by Wild Dandelion Designs...

I can't wait to see the final product!

Poor Sawyer

2010-02-02T23:47:00.002-06:00

::Warning: Spoilers from this week's episode::

I'm so sad for Sawyer. He doesn't get Kate (that we know of yet) and Juliet dies! This guy can't catch a break. And why bring Juliet back just to kill her in the first 10 minutes? I already thought she was dead, couldn't we keep on believing that? C'mon, J.J. Abrams! Why must you make me bawl my eyes out in the season 5 finale, watching that heartbreaking goodbye between her and Sawyer, only to bring her back for 10 minutes and actually kill her? Don't make me relive it twice, dude!

Anyway, the LOST premiere was A-mazing, just as expected. Of course, when they answered one question, they raised 10 more. You're too good, J.J.! You know exactly how to hook me every time.

So now the question is...what in the eff is going on??? Is there an alternate reality going on where the plane lands safely in L.A.? What year is it on the island? What is the deal with The Others at the temple? Uh...Sayid's alive?

Feel free to discuss your thoughts and opinions.

Are you ready to get LOST?

2010-02-01T11:19:00.001-06:00

::WARNING: This post will contain spoilers if you haven't watched every season!::

Ahhhhhhhh! LOST starts tomorrow and I could not be more excited! Seriously.

To say I'm a fan could, quite possibly, be the biggest understatement of all time. I absolutely love this show and I'm so sad it's the last season...

...But, with that said, I'm am beyond thrilled to see how everything pans out for the Oceanic 815 survivors.

Did detonating the hydrogen bomb change the future? Will Oceanic Flight 815 land safe and sound at LAX? What will happen to Ben now that Jacob is dead? The island? Will Sun and Jin be reunited? I hope so, because I was seriously sick of hearing the biotch ask about finding him. Who will Kate end up with, Jack or Sawyer? What the eff happened to Claire and where has she been for 3 years?

I want to hear your theories. What are they? What mystery are you most looking forward to being solved?

Me? I want to find out what do the numbers mean and what is the smoke monster? Any thoughts?

I hit my ass hard when I fell off that wagon

2010-02-01T10:29:00.000-06:00

Well, not too hard, I suppose. I cheated pretty much all week. ::buries face in hands out of sheer embarrassment::

Good news is, I didn't gain any weight, but I didn't lose any either. I attribute that to breastfeeding. What am I going to do when I'm done breastfeeding? I have to change these eating habits NOW! And so does my fiance! He has a good 50 lbs. to lose and he's not even close to getting there.

Which is why Mr. Motivation paid him a visit and gave him a swift kick in the arse. Mr. Motivation=Me. I bet Brian $10 bucks that he couldn't lose 20 lbs. by the time we leave for Hawaii. I honestly don't think he can do it. We leave in 26 days. I think he could least 10-15 lbs, but not 20. I think he'll drop the first 10 pretty quickly because he is considered obese. We shall see. He HATES to lose a bet, so I knew I would get him when I told him I didn't think he could do it.

That may be a mean thing for me to say, but this is my way of being supportive. Brian is the biggest procrastinator of the face of the planet and sometimes he just needs that little push to get him going. That push being my incessant shit talking.

So the goals for this week are to get back on the wagon and to keep Brian motivated by taunting the living daylights out of him. I'm thinking I should take a picture of him shirtless and tape it to the fridge. Then, tape a picture of a sandy Hawaiian beach next to it. I'm the best fiance, no?

Current Stats and Goals:
Weight last week: 158
Weight this week: 158
Goal weight: 145
Other goals: Stay motivated!

Is it a fluke?

2010-01-28T10:15:00.000-06:00

I'm sure it is. Surely, my baby can't be sleeping through the night. She has to be teasing me, right?

Yes, folks. Evie decided to sleep through the night for the first time last night. I must say, it was AMAZING! I have a feeling this will not be a trend, but hey, we're moving in the right direction.

So here's how it went, I put her to sleep (in her swing because she absolutely must be in the same room as me) around 7:00 pm. I "woke" her up around midnight to dreamfeed.

For those that don't know what that is, essentially, you pop a bottle in the kids mouth, while they're still sleeping, and they eat. The theory is, it will reduce nightwakings because their belly is full, but that's not why I do it. No, I do it for very selfish reasons. I do it because I know if I don't feed her at midnight, which is when I go to bed, she'll wake up an hour later and want to eat. Sorry, I'm not sleeping for an hour, and then waking up to feed her, if I don't have to.

Anyway, not the point of the story. So she ate around midnight and I put her in her sleep positioner, in between us, and next thing I know, it's 6:00 am! I was in disbelief. I really thought that we would be waiting a long time for her to STTN. Although, again I say, it's probably just a fluke. Those sneaky babies like to trick you.

Oh well. Here's hoping she continues to do it!

Kept my cheat day and lost 3 lbs!

2010-01-25T08:54:00.002-06:00

::does a little jig::

I'm so excited! I lost 3 lbs. last week! I did cheat 2 days, instead of 1, but hey, it was the weekend. After the week I had with the nighttime fussiness lasting 2-3 hours every night, can you blame me?

I stuck to my diet through the week though, but I didn't really get any exercise in. Unless you call running around with a 2 month old exercise...and I do. I honestly think carrying her around in the Moby is helping. My God, she weighs 11 lbs. now! How could it not be helping, right?

In other news, I am now addicted to Diet Dr. Pepper. No, seriously. We bought a 12 pack on Saturday and it was gone last night! Yes, Brian helped me polish it off, but the majority of consumption was by me. Shameful, I know. It's better than regular Dr. Pepper though, so at least give me credit for that.

So 3 lbs. down, 7 more to go before Hawaii. I'd really like to lose 13 more though. That would put me at 145. I haven't been 145 since I was 17 years old! Oh, to have that body again. Free of stretch marks and a flabby tummy. With 3 lbs. down though, I'm well on my way.

Can I pull it off? Tune in next week to find out.

Current stats and goals:

Current weight: 158
Goal weight: 145
Weight loss goal this week: 2 lbs.

Sleeping Success

2010-01-22T17:10:00.000-06:00

We had a breakthrough in the sleeping debacle last night. My friend, Lacey, has a little girl who is 5 days younger than Evie, so we made a little play date yesterday. We were talking about how her daughter, Lilly, is pretty much sleeping through the night, while Evie is still attached to my arm during the night.

I told her I was going to try and find an inclined sleep positioner because she doesn't seem to like lying flat on her back. She, being an awesome friend and my current favorite person, offered to let us use her inclined sleep positioner because Lilly didn't like it.

Armed with the secret weapon in hand, I was determined to get this child to sleep somewhere other than on me. Anywhere else but me.

We did our usual night time routine. Bath, massage, story time, and rocking. She had only eaten an hour and a half before that, and wasn't acting hungry, so I didn't feed her. I had put a heating pad on the sleep positioner and set it in her bassinet. I laid her down and hoped for the best.

I came downstairs to eat dinner with Brian, and 20 minutes later...she was awake. Ugh. I guess I should have tried to feed her anyway. She ate and then screamed for about 30 minutes because she was over-tired. She finally went to sleep around 8:30 and I had to wake her up to take her upstairs at 11:30.

I feed her, rocked her back to sleep, and stuck her in the positioner. Get this, she slept for 5 HOURS!!! Holy cow, I was amazed! I hope tonight goes the same. I'm going to feed her before laying her down though. Maybe that will do the trick!

Cheaters ain't just a white-trash reality show

2010-01-18T09:45:00.003-06:00

Sadly, the term cheater, also applies to me this week. Why, oh, why can't I just maintain this diet? I will say, I was doing really well until this weekend.

Brian decided he wanted to have a date night on Saturday, so we made arrangements to have Pappy and KiKi (Brian's parents) watch the babe, so we could go out for some mommy and daddy time. We started with dinner and some adult beverages at an Italian restaurant. The food was AMAZING! I endulged in Spinach and Artichoke Pasta. It was penne pasta and chicken, topped with a spinach and artichoke cream sauce. To. Die. For. Along with that, we had the ol' bread and olive oil dipping sauce. My guilty pleasure. Add on a glass of Sauvignon Blanc and you have a meal that was designed to clog every artery in your body...and I enjoyed every minute of it.

After dinner, we headed over to the movie theatre across the street. We bought two tickets for It's Complicated and made our way to the concession stand. Why quit stuffing our faces now, eh? I bought a box of Buncha Crunch and a large Mr. Pibb to share with Brian. Come to think of it, there wasn't much sharing going on on my end. The movie was hysterical, the Buncha Crunch were awesome, and we had a terrific date night, so I don't feel too bad about cheating...

Except, you see, that was supposed to be my only cheat night last week. Yesterday resulted in more shameful cheating though. I did really well for breakfast and lunch, but then I decided I wanted chocolate chip cookies for an afternoon snack. So I had 5. Then, for dinner, we decided we were too tired to make anything, so plans were made to order chinese food from the incredible Master Wok. Mmm! After chicken fried rice, crab rangoon, egg rolls, and more, I was stuffed. It was so good! I did feel kind of bad after that one though. Especially, since Brian has A LOT more to lose than I do and I'm just pulling him down with me.

Alas, maybe we can get it right this week. I'm actually content if I don't lose anymore weight before Hawaii, but it would be really nice too. I weigh 10 lbs. less than my pre-pregnancy weight, but I'd like to lose another 10 before we leave. I haven't lost any weight, but I haven't gained any either, which is awesome! I'm going to try to work a little harder at it this week. We shall see how it pans out.

Stats and goals for this week:
Current weight: 161
Goal weight by end of the week: 159
Other goals: ONE CHEAT DAY, NOT TWO, FATTY!

These are the days I wish I was going back to work

2010-01-15T08:48:00.000-06:00

Before I say what I'm about to say, just know that I love my daughter and she is my entire world...but she is driving me up the freakin' wall!

For almost 2 weeks now, she has been super fussy. It wasn't bad during the days, just at night. Well, a couple of days ago, she started getting fussy in the mornings. Today was no different.

I exclusively pump, since Evie stopped latching, and I don't pump after midnight. So when we get up in the morning, I'm extremely engorged and need to pump as soon as she's done eating. I normally swaddle her, put her in her swing, and she goes right to sleep. This has never been a problem until the last few days.

Lately, she's been super fidgety at night. I have no idea why, but it makes for a crappy night of sleep for both of us. Last night, she was up every 2 hours and was fidgety in between that. So when we woke up this morning, I figured she'd go right to sleep in her swing. WRONG! We played a game of "Spit the Paci Out". If you don't know what that game is, it's a game that entails seeing how many times Evie can spit her paci out before Mommy loses her ever-loving mind. Today...it was 10. Oh, and I forgot to mention, when you try to put the paci in, she gives you that huge gummy smile that is impossible to resist.

I hated to do it, but I had to let her fuss for a few minutes. Not cry. Fuss. I let her do that for about 2 minutes and then went over and stuck the paci in her mouth. She took it instantly and now she's snoozing peacefully in her swing.

It's days like these that I'm thankful for the person that invented coffee. Oh, and mother-in-laws who will watch your baby at a moment's notice. If only I was going to do something fun while I'm baby-less. Alas, I'm going to my office to give my 2 weeks notice to my boss. Maybe I can squeeze in a massage too? What do you think? ;-)

She's supposed to wait until she's 16 to scare mommy!

2010-01-13T12:54:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was a rough day to say the least. Evie decided she was going to give Mommy and Daddy a good scare! Shouldn't she wait until her teenage years to make us worry?

Yesterday morning, Evie woke up around 8:30 and Brian fed her 2 oz. She normally eats between 3 and 4, but I thought maybe she just wasn't as hungry. She went right back to sleep, which she normally does, and woke up to eat again around 12:30. She ate about 1.5 oz. and started fussing, so I figured she needed to burp. I started trying to burp her and she went into full-on shrieking mode!

I didn't know what was wrong, so I tried giving her the bottle again. She kept screaming. Tried burping again. Kept screaming. This went on for almost an hour. I finally started rocking her and she fell asleep around 1:30 pm. Brian and I took her upstairs to lay down with her.

Around 2:00 pm, she started fussing, so I thought she was probably hungry since she didn't eat much. I tried giving her the bottle and the screaming started again. I knew she was gassy, but she just couldn't get it out. She was screaming like she was in so much pain, so I started crying with her. My poor baby was in pain and there was nothing I could do for her. She would not calm down, so we decided to call the pediatrician to see if we could get her in to be checked out. We made a 3:30 pm appointment and off we went.

She fell asleep on the way to the pedi, and was fine, at first, when they woke her up to weigh her. They checked her resting heart rate and it was 184/bpm. They said this was a little high, especially, since she was calm. About 5 minutes later, she started screaming again. I tried feeding her to no avail. The doctor didn't know what was wrong. I kept telling them I thought it was a combination of gas and being over-tired since she couldn't sleep through the pain.

Finally, the pedi decided to send her over to the ER for a work-up. Right about that time, Evie started farting. After she got a few good farts out, she was back to her old self. That poor little girl just needed to fart!

We still went over to the ER to make sure her vitals were ok, and they were. They sent us home and told us to pick up Mylicon drops on the way. We gave her the drops last night and she passed the eff out. Hallelujah! She slept from 7:30 pm to 11:00 pm, ate, and went back to sleep until 5:15 am, ate, back to sleep until 8:00 am.

Today, she has been a perfect angel. Although, she's been sleeping all day, only waking to eat. She can do whatever she wants though. I'm just glad she's ok. She did gives us a good scare though!

Just another McFatty Monday

2010-01-11T09:07:00.000-06:00

As I sit here, eating my bowl of Special K and drinking my coffee, I remember what I would normally be eating for breakfast right about now. A Sausage, Egg, and Cheese McMuffin. I lived on those when I was pregnant, but I'm not pregnant anymore! I don't have the luxury of just eating whatever I want and not caring because "I'm going to get fat anyway". Which is why the first week of my diet sucked ass.

Like I said in my last McFatty post, I am 100% addicted to fast food, so giving it up cold turkey is so effing hard! I did pretty well for my first week though. I did cheat a little over the weekend, but I'm a firm believer in endulging yourself a little. Otherwise, you'll go crazy and eat everything in sight.

I mostly stuck to my special k for breakfast, ham sandwich and low fat chips for lunch, and for dinner, we just cooked something we would normally eat, as long as it wasn't too fatty. I only worked out one day last week. That's the downfall of having a baby who is supe glued to you at all times. I did manage to lose 7 lbs. in the past 3 weeks though. 7 down, 13 more to go.

Goals for this week:
Weight loss: 2 lbs.
Eating habits: Try to only cheat 1 day, instead of 2.
Exercise: Try to work out at least every day for 30 mins.

I just like to smile. Smiling's my favorite!

2010-01-09T13:52:00.001-06:00

I've been trying to catch a smile on camera for the past week. My failed attempt to catch one of video can be seen in a post below. Instead of smiling, she gave me a great video to show to all her future boyfriends in effort to embarrass her.

She was wide awake yesterday morning, which is unusual, so I busted at the tutu and camera hoping to capture that beautiful, gummy smile. Mission Accomplished.

At first she was sad...

Then came the smiles!

That smile melts my heart! :-)

Silver white winters that melt into springs...

2010-01-08T14:00:00.001-06:00

Yeah, that probably won't be happening anytime soon. With the high being 1 today, it's the coldest it's been all winter. This 5 inches of snow we got the other night isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Brian and I bought Evie a bear snow suit from Old Navy and have been dying to take her out to see her first snow. Not that she even knows what it is or what's going on. I mean, really, what else can we do besides hold her and take pictures? So we bundled her up yesterday and took her out for some snowtime fun.

Well, last night sucked

2010-01-07T12:05:00.001-06:00

I knew I would jinx myself when I made a post on the bump yesterday about Evie sleeping all the time.

She woke up around 4:00 pm yesterday and she was up for the normal 4-5 hours. Well, 9 o'clock rolls around, which is normally her bed time, and she gets really fussy. Great. She's over-tired. I rock her and she falls asleep for about 30 minutes, so I try putting her in her swing. Screaming ensues. Pick her up and try rocking her again. Her eyes get really heavy, but they just won't shut. I get her drowsy again. Put her in the swing. What happens next, can you guess? If you said, "screaming ensues" you would be correct. Come on down and claim your prize!

This went on for the next hour. I finally took her upstairs, with the seahorse, and rocked her to sleep. I had to pump in an hour, so I didn't want to fall asleep with her like I normally do. So I laid her in her bassinet. Yeah. She stayed in there for about 20 minutes. Then...more screaming. I tried feeding her, rocking her, etc. She would stop screaming, but she was incredibly fussing.

She finally fell asleep for good at 1:00 am. She woke up to eat at 4:30 am, then 6:00 am, then 7:30 am. Needless to say, it was a rough night last night. She's sleeping in her swing right now, peacefully I might add. We shall see how tonight goes.

::crosses fingers that Evie calms the eff down and goes to sleep tonight::

Evie Rosenblatt

2010-01-06T11:03:00.000-06:00

Is it wrong that my new favorite pastime is making up Jewish old man names for my daughter?

Now, before anyone gets offended, Evie Rose is a quarter Jewish...not too shabby (Adam Sandler fans, anyone?) Seriously though, Brian's father is Jewish and he thinks it's hilarious!

Brian and I sit around and see who can come up with the best name and profession for her. It's just hard not to think of "Howard Feingold, MD. Damn glad to meet ya." when you see this hair!

It's the hair that started it all. She has more hair on the back of her head than the top, and it's longer. Which gives her the appearance of a balding old man. Brian started calling her Don Rickels and it just kept going from there.

So far, I'm winning the "Best Jewish Old Man Name" contest with "Morty Rosenblatt, Tax Attorney". We've also got Harry Weinstein, Henry Finkelstein, and Elliott Rosenburg.

Geez, I need a hobby, huh?

Asked for a smile, got something else

2010-01-05T12:27:00.003-06:00

Watch for the hilariousness of this video around the 1:05 mark.

Clean up, Clean up, Everybody do your share.

2010-01-05T08:10:00.000-06:00

Can I have two New Year's resolutions?

To say I'm unorganized would be a gross understatement. It was hard for me to stay organized before the baby. Now that she's here, yeah...nothing's getting done around this house. I'm lucky if I'm able to get dishes and laundry done in one day. I keep things picked up to where they look presentable, but my house is in desperate need of a deep clean.

Which brings me to my second resolution. Today, I will be deep cleaning my entire house and it is going to stay that way come hell or high water! It's pretty sad that we still have Christmas presents lined up against the living room wall, because we don't have the time or energy to put them away.

After my, very strong, cup of coffee. I plan to get to work. I just hope the babe stays asleep long enough for me to get this shit done. I'm tired of looking at this clusterfuck I call a home. Wish me luck!

Sleeping Arrangements

2010-01-04T16:53:00.000-06:00

Why won't my child sleep anywhere but with me?

I swear, at this rate, she'll be sleeping with us until she's 30! She's been this way since birth. She will only sleep in bed with me. She will nap in her swing if she is swaddled, but when the sun goes down, only mama will do.

We're leaving for Hawaii in less than 60 days and she's staying with the grandparents. I would feel terrible if she wasn't able to sleep alone by then. Also, having her bed-share with anyone, besides us, makes me nervous. Brian's mom did not seem too thrilled when I informed her of the sleeping arrangement we have going on now.

I just spent about an hour walking back and forth to her room to put her paci back in. We were trying out the crib and it just wasn't working. She would fall asleep to the soothing sounds of Margot, her soothe and glow seahorse, only to be awakened as soon as it turned off. Then screaming ensues. Dammit.

Dear Evie,

WTF? Be a good girl and go to sleep somewhere other than right in mommy's face, mkay? Also, please don't scream bloody murder and then smile when I walk in the room. It's very frustrating and hard to be mad at you. Thanks in advance.

Love,
Mommy

Love at first sight.

2010-01-04T09:41:00.002-06:00

Is it bad that my first baby blog post was about me?

I thought it was, so I decided to make my second post baby related. This will be, sort of, an introduction.

I got my BFP on March 10, 2009. I was completely shocked and surprised. Most of all, scared. Brian and I weren't planning on having a baby quite so soon, but we were excited! Since I was not planning to get pregnant, I had no idea what was in store for me, so I went out and bought the bible (aka. What to Expect...) I knew pregnancy lasted for 9 months, but seeing that "40 weeks" written out just made it seem like an eternity. I was going to be pregnant for 40 weeks?!

But, the weeks went by and it became more real. I was going to be someone's mother in just a few short months. We changed our whole lives in those months. We moved, from our loft in the city, to a townhouse in the suburbs. Instead of a spending our Saturdays hungover from the night before, we were up at 9:00 am and headed to Babies R Us. I sold my 2 door hatchback and bought an SUV. Our second bedroom was not for guests, but for this tiny baby that was growing, ever-so-quickly, inside of me.

From the beginning, I just had this feeling that she was going to be a girl. Brian tried to warn me that his sister was the first girl, on his father's side, in over 100 years. In other words, he was skeptical that we would ever have a girl, let alone having a girl the first time. Still, I was 100% sure that she was a girl. At our 20 week ultrasound, it was confirmed that she was, in fact, a girl. We were thrilled! Brian had always imagined having a Daddy's girl. We knew, before we even knew that sex, that if we had a girl we wanted to name her Evelyn. Evie for short. We just thought Evie was the cutest name for a little girl and Evelyn was very pretty for an adult. Although, she will probably never go by Evelyn in this house.

And so, the weeks flew by, and before I knew it, 40 weeks was here...and I had no baby. I went to my OB appointment on my due date, only to be told that I was barely dilated. I bawled the whole way home and was preparing myself to be pregnant for at least another week. I got home, took a nap, got up and took a shower. After the shower, I was drying my hair, and felt a big gush of fluid. I didn't think that it could be my water breaking, but every time I walked more came out. After I soaked 2 pairs of underwear, I knew it was time to head to Labor and Delivery.

Labor was not fun. I was GBS positive and had needles and tubes galore stuck in me. My epidural had worn off some by the time I started pushing, so that was pretty much the most painful thing I've ever experienced. It was all worth it though. After an hour and 15 minutes of pushing, Evelyn Rose was born. She weighed 6 lbs. 15 oz. and was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I never knew I could love someone so much. She is my whole world and I have no clue how I ever lived without her.

Brian and I are so in love with her. It's crazy how much she's grown in the past 8 weeks. She's starting to coo and smile. That smile just melts my heart. I can't wait to watch her grow and learn even more.

McFatty Monday

2010-01-04T08:35:00.001-06:00

Hello. My name is Jocelyn...and I'm addicted to fast food.

I cannot lie. I do, indeed, have an addiction to fast food. I think it stems from my childhood. My parents divorced when I was 3. My mother was a single mom of two, and worked 12 hour days as a manager at Walmart. By the time she got off work and picked us up from daycare, she was in no mood to cook, and I can't blame her. Every weekend, we would go visit my dad. He would, literally, feed us McDonald's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We knew exactly how much the total of two happy meals would be. $4.24. Crazy, huh? $4.24 for TWO meals. It's more than that just for one meal now! Oh, how I miss 1997.

Since I was a child, I had a high metabolism, and I could eat that crap every meal and not gain weight. This changed, however, when I hit puberty. I grew 3 inches, my hips widened, and I was no longer wearing a kids size 12. I was a size 7, 125 lbs, in the middle of 8th grade. I moved in with an aunt and uncle of mine, who were extremely obese, and that just fueled the fast food addiction even more. By time I left my aunt and uncle's, my sophomore year of high school, I was 165 lbs. Not fat, but not skinny. I moved back home and lost 30 lbs. almost instantly. For the first time in a long time, I felt great, but I my diet consisted of salads and water. In my opinion, this is no way to live.

After high school, I decided I was going to eat what I wanted. I put the 30 lbs. back on, plus another 5. I was in college, in a relationship, so who cares about being skinny, right? When I got my surprise BFP, at 170 lbs., I was mortified! I was going to put on, at the minimum, 25-35 lbs! Did this help me make better food choices though? No. I pretty much ate a Quarter Pounder with Cheese and large fries every day. Every 4 weeks, I went to my OB appointments, and I wasn't gaining weight. I thought, "This is great!" I didn't gain any weight until 22 weeks, and luckily, I only put on 20 lbs. total. It still was no picnic to walk around at 190 lbs., but it was better than seeing 200+ on the scale. At 6 days post partum, I lost all the baby weight, plus an additional 10 lbs.

So here I sit at 160 lbs. I want, so desperately, to start eating healthy and to lose another 20 lbs. I have to for my child. I will not have her grow up the same way I did. I cannot feed her a diet that consists of grease and fat!

This brings me to joining McFatty Mondays. Today, my fiance and I, are starting our diet together. We will start eating healthy, no more fast food, and we will be working out. This isn't just about the weight. I really need to figure out and conquer this fast food addiction. Not to mention, we're going to Hawaii in less than 2 months and I'd like to not have to see a hundred pictures of my fat ass in a swim suit and think, "Why didn't I try harder?" I'm so glad Blair started this. It will be nice to have other women around that are going through the same things. Together, I know we can all do this.

Good luck, ladies! I look forward to this weight loss journey with you all.

Here is the most recent picture of myself. Notice the long sweater designed to cover my ass.